Saying No

**Face painting, round 1000? Seriously, nothing puts a smile on her face faster. Oh, and the bow situation? Her doing.**


After heading home from a morning of patient care and picking up Tiny from preschool, I sat down on the couch while the kids were napping. I sighed a tired sigh, because this is one of the busiest weeks on record for us, and did what I usually do when I'm tired or frustrated: I called my sister.

We were talking about the goings on of the past few days when I noticed my cell phone ringing. It was my office number.

"Hey hang on a second, someone from work is calling me."


**One thing that does not make me tired or frustrated is a good fall festival. We headed to yet another one this past weekend. Can't. Get. Enough.**


I picked up the phone and heard the voice of one of our third year residents. A few days ago he'd asked me if I could by any chance help with out for a Q&A meeting they were having for the residents tonight. I'd told him that with committments on pretty much every other night, it wasn't a great week. Plus, I wasn't working the afternoon shift, so it would mean fighting rush hour traffic to get back. Still, I told him to call me if he got in a bind.

And he was calling me. Great.

A heavy dose of guilt is a just part of my personality, and so once I've been asked to do something, even if I have a good reason for saying no, it still makes me feel bad. My sister is always telling me to let go of the guilt and 'just say no' when I need to.


**The kids never say no to bounce house fun. In fact, they said 'yes' about three dozen times.**

The resident said, "Hey, I know it's a crazy week for you, but is there anyway you could help us out with the Q&A?"

I asked how many people they had coming, and felt confident they had enough help to pull it off without me.

Then I thought about how my Dad had always put family ahead of his church and work responsibilities. I thought about how when he chose our back to school nights over meetings he was supposed to conduct, he probably felt a little guilty. But he chose us anyway.


**Drummer chose the corn box over pretty much every other activity. Do you know how much less messy this is than sand? Why is this not a thing??**

I thought about how choosing space for our family is generally not the path of least resistance.

I thought about how with my plate so full this week, my family just needed a quiet night together.

I thought about my sister on the line and what I knew she was rooting for me to say.

"I'm sorry, don't hate me, but I just don't think it's going to work."


**This painted pumpkin works beautifully on our front porch.**

"No problem, I understand" he said. And we hung up.

I picked the house phone back up, where my sister had been listening to my side of the conversation. "I'm proud of you," she said. Just as I'd known she would. Then we jumped back into our previous conversation.

It was a good night, albeit a little crazy with two toddlers who had slight cases of the grumpity grumps. Whenb Tiny asked 'if I was going anywhere tonight?' I smiled as I answered: 'Nope, I'll be here all night.'

I put them in bed, knowing I was exactly where I should be.

And now I'm heading to bed myself, grateful for the people who help me make the right decisions as I go, and for more reminders that little choices add up to big ones.

That saying no to one thing is usually saying yes to something else. And when we repeatedly say yes to the right things or people at the right times (which is not so simple to sort out!), we're laying the foundation for great things and great relationships.

That I believe. I really do.

Making It Count

**Pony on up, friends, and let the festivities begin.**

On the morning before Tiny's birthday, I laid down next to her in bed. "Today's the last day you're going to be 3," I said, "so let's make it a good day. Let's make it count."

She smiled at me like she understood what I was getting at. She got up and ran downstairs, while I lay there, my breath caught in my throat. 'This is the last day she's going to be 3,' I thought.


**Wanted: The Power to Freeze Time.**

But it wasn't just the nostalgia over the fact that the toddler I so adore is always, always, always evolving into a little girl I love just as much. It was more a remembrance of the concept that 'you won't pass this way again.' That everyday is unique and then it's gone, and I hope I'm appreciating that today is the only day that will ever be just.like.this. Of course there are do-overs and second chances and I've always loved the Anne of Green Gables Quote "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it."

But I also want to retain a little bit of awe as I think to myself in the mornings, "Make it good, self. You won't pass this way again."


**Which is why Rockstar and I dressed up as well.**

********************************************************

Speaking of not passing this way again, it occurred to me while planning Tiny's birthday that this was probably the LAST time we'd ever do a cowgirl party. And a cowgirl party and a pony ride just go together perfectly, right? When I get a bee in my bonnet, well....I just have to follow through. So, while my husband rolled his eyes at my enthusiasm for the idea, I researched and finally found a pony rental from a local farm.

What can I say. Lots of times, I'm saying, "Keep it simple, people!" And then sometimes I'm unexpectedly acting on, 'Go big or go home!' impulses.

There's this part of me that always wished I could be an event planner. So I looked at that part of myself and said, "You're hired. Go crazy." And she had a blast. More importantly, so did those cute little cowgirls and cowboys.


**Our guests let themselves into the ranch.**



**We outfitted the girls with badges and hats upon arrival, then had them color their own Wanted posters (mwahahaha).**


**The birthday girl with her new Jessie Doll.**


**Dollar store cowboy hats have a myriad of uses.**




**The Party Favors. When the cowboot cookies I'd ordered didn't materialize, I made little sherriff star cookies. Thank you ready made dough!**




**Pink Lemonade for the weary riders who needed to wet their whistle.**




**Need a place to spend those tickets? Step on up!**


**Girlfriend took full of advantage of the times the store wasn't manned by this guy...**


**...or this guy.**


**He rocked his 'stache all party long.**


**The locals got a little nervous when the Sheriff came riding into town.**


**But the birthday girl told them there was nothing to fear.


**My MIL manned the Cowgirl Salon, aka face painting central.**


**Even tiny got hired for a brief stint at the salon.**


**Our cowgirls were experts at finding the gold among the rubble. More tickets earned!**


**The Sheriff was less adept at finding gold, and more adept at splashing water.**


**And also skilled at cattle rustling.**


**Good times were had by all. And a little nostalgia as I felt a pang for a life with horses (we had them growing up).**


**A sigh of relief from two happy parents: no one got sick and it didn't rain.**

There's this one cowboy phrase that goes something like this: "Don't stop kickin' until the clock stops tickin'." Whether in celebrating milestones, or in just appreciating each simple day, I reckon that's just what we'll do.

Rodeo

I've been silent on here the last week because of this:


That would be the entrance to Tiny's birthday party, which we had last weekend. It consumed most all of my spare time last week, and I'm still recovering. Kidding! It was a blast, but this week's just its own brand of busy. The party was a rollicking good time, and I promise to be back in the next day or two with a full report.

So, y'all come back real soon.

Intentional

In the heat of summer after my sophomore year in college, my family trekked eastward to Boston for my dad’s college reunion. Since the parents had a lot of obligations that kids wouldn’t be interested in, there was also a group of Harvard college kids who would take the various age groups around to different activities. I thought it was pretty fun to hang out with co-eds from a different university, and enjoyed our trips to the beach, to Salem, etc.,

Except on Saturday morning, I was really stumped about what to do. Because the co-eds were leading a group on a riverboat tour, but my parents had lined up an equally interesting city tour that I could come on. Everytime I’d decide to go with one option, the other option would suddenly look just as—if not more—appealing. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. It was not the first time I had struggled with indecision in my life.


**Are you sure about that, Mom?**

The hour of decision grew near, and my dad offered to walk me down to the pick up spot for the riverboat tour while I made up my mind. We got there and I was still unsure. All the kids got on the bus, and I was still unsure. They made a ‘last call’ announcement, and I was still unsure.

“Sweetie,” said my Dad, “You need to make a decision. Don’t let the bus leaving make your decision for you. Decide what you want instead of letting circumstance decide.”


**I generally miss the bus when it comes to getting my camera while the photo-op is still intact.**

He was right. With the opportunity to get on the bus still there (barely), I said, “I want to go on the city tour with you guys.”

“Okay, then.” We turned around and walked back to meet up with my mom and brothers.

I’ve thought a lot about this advice since then, because I think it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

Lately I’ve been contemplating the idea of being intentional in the way I live my life. Of making decisions when I have the ability to instead of passively waiting for life to make them for me. Of being mindful of the bigger picture as I make smaller decisions. Of acting instead of being acted upon.


**This weekend I decided to spend the afternoon putting candy on this spooky house. If you know me, you know this is only one of three gingerbread extravaganzas's that I'm a part of yearly.**

It can be easy to wait for the bus to pull away because then the responsibility for the decision is gone. But to make that decision when the opportunity is there feels like an important part of developing the ability to forge your own path. To forge the right path even when it’s hard.

So lately, I’m trying to be more active in making the decisions that are mine to make.


**Tiny's all about making decisions that aren't hers to make. Like body art when mom's not looking. Actually, I was kind of impressed with her efforts.**


For example: Tiny was at a morning camp recently, and after I put Drummer down for a nap, I surveyed my options for the next two hours. I didn’t want to just sit down and start sorting through mail, news headlines, interesting articles, etc., and realize many minutes later that my window of time had all but disappeared. So I made a list of the five good things I could do with that time. And when I surveyed the options, ‘sleep’ won out as the one that seemed the most beneficial at that time. So I layed down to take a nap, knowing I’d sleep even better because I’d decided to sleep before the bus pulled out of the station.


**Though I was tempted by a good book on my nightstand.**

Being intentional doesn’t mean that you’ll always choose to check something off the to-do list instead of having fun. Rather, it means paying attention to the precious gift of time that passes everyday. I want to see that gift and mold it, instead of letting it slip through my fingers.


**And sometimes I might be surprised by the choices I make.**

Happy Wednesday—make the decision to do something fun. ☺